She Ain’t Heavy, She’s my Mother

A Child’s Perspective

“You’re not heavy, you’re my mom.”

With these simple words, my son put everything into perspective for me.

As I approached my half century mark, I guess I was lamenting, more than usual, about my weight.  Not that I was doing anything about it, mind you, but lament I did none-the-less.

My son, who was still in elementary school at the time, spoke up at one point and said, “You’re not heavy, you’re my mom and I love you just the way you are.”

Perspective on a Weight

I realized that I was loved, no matter what my size and that, perhaps, just perhaps, I should start doing the same.  Instead of beating myself up, putting off things until I was some ideal weight, excluding myself from fun things in general because of my weight, I should smarten up and just get on with life.  How many years had I wasted, excluding myself because of some dumb notion that being fat meant that I shouldn’t or couldn’t join in life?  Ten? Twenty? The irony of course is that for probably half that time, I was not fat, just a few pounds overweight.

My next dreadful thought was how much had my weight stopped me from having fun with my son or, worse, preventing it?   I didn’t even want to contemplate that possibility.

A Weighty Conversation

“Wouldn’t you like a mom that was slim so that other kids wouldn’t tease you about having a fat mom?” I asked.  Visions of a childhood friend who went through that drifted through my head.  My heart would ache for my dear friend.

“Nah,” he said, “I would just tell them what you told me.  I say, my mom can always lose weight but you will always be a moron.  That usually shuts them up.”

Two things occurred to me:  One, my son actually listens!  Two, had someone already mentioned it?

“Has someone already said something?” I inquired.

“One kid said that you were kinda fat but that’s it.”

“Did that bother you?”

“Not really, that guy is a moron.”

It’s somewhat unnerving to hear your vocabulary reflected in your child’s sometimes.

“Besides, if you lose too much weight, you won’t be as soft to hug.”

Awwww – could he get any sweeter?!!?  The rewards of motherhood are fleeting but great when they happen.

True Perspective

Right then and there I resolved to get on with this business of getting healthy and ditching a few pounds, not only for health reasons, but for my son’s sake.  We weren’t going to miss out on any more fun because of my lame excuse.  Junior deserved that.  He loved me just the way I was and that made me want to try.  He’d be a teenager soon enough so I only had a few short years to get out there and have some fun!

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