Get on with it!
Monty Python said it best, (from the Holy Grail).
After many months, a delightful trip to Denmark (See the Danish Canuck for the highlights), and the inevitable depression that follows, I’m back.
No doubt many of you have given up on me. Frankly I’d kinda given up on myself.
Back to Reality
After a wonderful trip, reality sets in and I always get depressed. Perhaps it’s because on vacation you are removed from the mundane and ordinary. You get a taste of what living really is.
Then you come home and it’s back to buying groceries and riding the bus with miserable people. Sometimes I find the routine mind numbing. It’s so difficult to get motivated to do anything.
Alone again, Naturally,
Also coming back to an empty house is just depressing. I miss having someone to tell all my adventures to. Mr. Stubbs is an attentive listener but not much in the conversation department.
I’m finding that although I stay connected with many friends electronically, it doesn’t quite make up for the in person experience for me. I miss faces and hugs. Particularly hugs.
What do I want to Do?
The other problem I have is that I’ve forgotten what I like to do. Between wasband and taking care of junior, my time hasn’t really been my own. Now that I have all the time in the world, I honestly don’t know what to do with myself.
Usually I fill the void with tasks – the unpleasant, they have to be done kind. There are many. So many that at times I’ve caught myself literally going in a circle because I didn’t know which to do first. So I give up and watch t.v.
And what about that Fifty/Fifty list?
Yes, well, that is languishing. Not for any other reason than I’m letting myself spiral into depression and feeling mighty sorry for myself in the process. The list that started with such promise is now just a list.
You’d think it was a list of things I didn’t want to do instead of things that would be fun!!!
So get help!
In fact, I am. A lovely counsellor is helping me figure out stuff. Last year was so overwhelming with a lot of unpleasant and sad things happening one after another that I really didn’t have a chance to “get over it”.
Plus getting on with exercising and proper nutrition will help. I have to. My lovely Dr. M says that I’m heading into high blood pressure level and that is never good.
Luckily if I make a few changes, (diet, no wine, exercise, no stress), I can avoid the medication.
Starting Again – again
If you look back over my posts, you’ll see I’ve started again, many times. What makes this time different? I don’t know if it will be different. I just know that I can’t go on living in isolation, not enjoying life or laughing, feeling tired and depressed. That I know has to stop.
If I don’t, I’ll be looking at a dismal life and possibly not being alive to see Junior get much older. Pretty good incentive, eh?
So, enough inaction – Get on with it!