The Dream

To be someone must be a wonderful thing
A famous footballer a rock singer
or a big film star, yes I think I would like that
The Jam

A Child’s fear

“I don’t want to die and fade away and be forgotten,” cried my little man. “Now it’s too late and I’ll never do anything great.” All I could do was hug him.
I know that feeling.
I felt it when I was his age. I remember how strong the need was to be someone special, unique. Not to have to take an ordinary job and live an ordinary life. I wanted to have an extraordinary life where I would meet interesting people and do amazing things – whatever that might have been.

Like Mother, like Son

Now my son is feeling the same thing. He wants to create or do something magnificent that will ensure his immortality after his corporeal being has passed on.
I’m torn as to what to tell him. My mom always said that I could be whatever I wanted to be. The trouble was that I couldn’t. We live in a back water burg. No matter what I tried, there was always someone there telling me that I couldn’t do it.

Check these comments out:

• You can only be a receptionist because you’re blonde and 18
• You won’t get a job in the arts in this town because you’re not gay
• You won’t become a salesperson because you’re not a man. You’re most important job is to get my coffee on my desk by 8:31 a.m.
• You’re too green to be a good singer
• You don’t sing the right kind of music to make it as a musician
• You have to sing like a man to make it in music.
• You need to be an American to get an acting job in this town.

I ran into so many misogynist jerks in my working career it was obscene. I was shocked! This wasn’t the 1950’s, this was in the 80’s and 90’s.

Contentment without Lofty Intentions?

I came to the realization about a decade ago that I might have lived a happier life IF I hadn’t had big dreams. If I had been content to live a more ordinary life – nice home, summer cottage, kids, good job that pays the bills – I may not have cried so much or become ill.

Feeling alive

Yet, it was in the moments on stage that I felt alive. The quickening of the pulse before I stepped into the spot light, the first notes of music that brought me to life.
Junior clearly needs to feel the same. Although, at his tender age, he seems to think that opportunity has already passed him by. What kind of world do we live in that makes a child feel that he’s missed his chance at greatness at the age of 14!

The Dilemna

So the question is what do I do?
Part of me wants to cautiously encourage him to dream big but have a back up plan in case it doesn’t work. The safe but not really going to succeed route. Seth Godin says the best way to succeed is to have NO back up plan.

The other part of me, the rebel part, says tell him to go for it. Push him out of the nest and just let him fly. Encourage him to dream big. Granted the heartbreaks may also be big, but at least he’ll feel alive. He’ll always have mom’s shoulder to cry on. The “safe” gig will always be there. Mine was.

Mediocrity or Life?

There’s a song I heard recently by Melissa McClelland that talks about “the weary life of a free spirit conformed.”  That’s certainly what my life feels like now. Would I have done things different if I’d had more support? If I had been encourage more to step out of my comfort zone, would I have succeeded at my dreams?
Maybe, maybe not. I might still have ended up with the life I have but at least I would have had the satisfaction of trying and failing than never trying at all. I don’t want junior to live a life with regret. Better to die regret free.

Immortality?

Even if a person achieves great things in his lifetime, there is no guarantee of his fame making him immortal. Painters, sculptors, musicians – there are many that have faded into obscurity. Their art lies in a corner of a museum or library, no one really remembering the creator.
Of course there are those that have reached the immortal level – Beethoven, Mozart, Michaelangelo, Hilda Von Bingham. But Mozart and Beethoven had fans that kept their memory alive by getting their music out there. Bach was all but lost and forgotten until Mendelssohn and Mozart resurrected Bach’s music so the world could hear his genius.

It’s like the poem, Ozymandius by Percy Shelley. A great leader erects monuments to himself and yet in the end, no one remembers him.

“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.’

So What do I tell him?

I’m going to support my son and help him find his passions. Hopefully I don’t end up some nasty stage mother trying to live her dreams through her son but I definitely will try to guide him in directions I think will feed his soul and imagination.
What if following his dreams takes him far away from me? Will I be able to live with it? Possibly. If I can’t, I’ll just have to come for long visits.

In the end though, I want him to experience life to the fullest. I want him to follow dreams, lose them and get new ones, to never STOP dreaming.
The days I feel ancient are the days I stop dreaming. May he never stop dreaming. It will keep him young minded and content.

Great Tune!

Listen to this song by Passenger – it pretty much says everything I’ve ever felt about life. Wonderful. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a field to run through.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sYWmk4M-xE

(My apologies to Passenger – this was as close to “official” as I could find.  But here is the link to his website where you can purchase his album).

https://myspace.com/passengerofficial

 

Percy Shelley’s Poem  Ozymandias

via On-line Literature.com  http://www.online-literature.com/shelley_percy/672/