Pre Divorce To Do List – Done
So it’s been a year since the wasband kicked me to the curb and what a year! Thanks to my hard work and my lawyer, the hard core legal stuff has been taken care of. Now it just remains for the wasband to be apply for the divorce, which he says he will do “soon”. Chances are I’ll have to take care of that too. Some things never change.
But while the legal stuff may be over, I’ve been feeling that there is some personal divorce stuff I need to take care of now: namely me!
Post Divorce To Do List – Starting
So I explored a few web pages that cater to gay divorcees. And since I’m a chronic list maker, I’ve assembled a dozen “To Do” items:
Take time to eat well and enjoy it.
I will take the time to cook myself beautiful food. All the foods I loved that I didn’t cook because he didn’t like them are back
on the menu. Each month I’ll go through my food porn mags and try new and different recipes. I will sit down to a table with cutlery, candles, flowers and linen napkins and eat like an empress.
I will spend all the time I want buying good produce. I may have limited funds BUT I can choose the kind and quality of the food and none of it will go to waste. I will also help instill the love of beautiful food to junior. Show him the scents and sights of what it looks and tastes like.
This is a toughie. This year has been so hectic that my gym routine has disappeared. But I can honestly say that when I made an effort to exercise on a regular basis, I felt better and was better able to cope with the sh*t the universe was throwing at me. So, I resolve to get back into exercise. No matter how little, even if it’s just a short walk, I’m going to do it.
Buy Pretty Lingerie
As I filter through everything pre-move, I discovered that my lingerie/night gown collection is truly pathetic. Nothing pretty, all saggy and sad looking. I need new lingerie: cute teddies, comfy yet sexy pajamas, new bras and underwear, even a few frivolous frilly ones. Oh – and toss out the old ones.
12 Sep 2015 – Made a good start. The Bay had a sale and I bought new sleep and lounge wear. Cute, sexy, and comfy. Plus I tossed out the old saggy sad ones. Now just have to buy some sexy bras and panties.
Get My Hair Done
DONE – I didn’t want to have a high maintenance do that required hours of primping and fussing. That’s not me. So I searched the net for styles becoming of women over 40 and found some pretty nice ones. The one I settled on was Diane Keaton’s cut. So my stylist, Master D made it happen. Still getting the hang of it but it looks a lot more hip and happening than the long, old hippy hair I was getting!
Pamper my Body
This is a big one. There’s so much I could do.
- Get a massage
- Get a manicure
- Get a Pedicure
- Try a new face cream
- Learn to relax
Nothing makes me feel more confident than having nice looking nails and feet. Don’t know why. Perhaps it’s a sign of a leisured life if you have lovely hands and feet? But it’s also a part of putting my needs first, not his.
So I’m going to have a mani/pedi done by someone else at least once a year. I know it doesn’t sound like much but if I have it done professionally at least once a year, I can fake it the rest of the year. The massages I need to schedule at least 4 times a year. I will take care of my skin. I’ll make sure that I use lovely scented lotions and potions to make myself feel special and cared for. When I have a spare moment, I’ll take the time to pamper myself – whether a home spa or just a cup of tea and a book. Take a nap if I want to.
Explore New and Flattering Makeup
I will get my makeup done at several makeup counters to see how they update my look. I’m particularly fond of Adele’s look, so lovely and clean. This could back fire though if I get some tweenie doing my makeup. She may see me as older than the crypt keeper and do my makeup accordingly. There will definitely not be any sparkly eye shadow involved! And then it’s practice, practice, practice.
Update My Wardrobe
I’ve been putting off getting a new wardrobe until the magic day I lose weight.
To be fair, I haven’t really been trying for a while but I’m really tired of looking like an old lady. So I’m going to go through all my clothes, toss the old lady gear and lose the “slim” clothes that I’ll never get back into. I’m going to find funky, hip clothing that fits my current shape and when I get down to my healthier weight, I’ll figure something out.
I will take my time finding nice items. I will practice patience (soooo hard) and be selective, not just jump on the first thing I see. This project is supposed to make me feel like the rock star I used to feel like so a very special wardrobe will be required. And that won’t happen overnight. Also finding the funding will require patience as well.
13 Sep 2015 Found a very funky, unique top, in a size 14(!?!?) that fits. Definitely NOT old lady like. WEEEEE!
Hone My Flirting Skills
It’s been a while and I could use some practice.
So, I’ll check out a “flirting” seminar at the local amorous shop. I will consider an on-line dating site where I can “converse” with men. This is a bit scary. There are a lot of weird men out there. But it will give me practice deflecting these same weirdoes and help to perhaps find the good ones in the bunch. It’s also easier to be witty in writing than in person sometimes.
Take a Class in Something I’m interested in
This will help me brush up on some talents I have forgotten or help develop new ones. I’ll get out of the house and meet other people with similar interests. Beats bars by a long shot. Perhaps I’ll brush up on my French.
Try Something Different
Just to keep things interesting, I’m going to try something that I wouldn’t ordinarily do. There are things on my 50 – 50 list that will do nicely for this item. Ultimately I need to just try something that makes me kinda queasy but exited at the same time. Adventure makes me feel alive, just like stepping out on stage. Perhaps I need to get back on stage? Agent G took me to live karaoke. Now I just need to get up there and join in!
Celebrate the Everyday
Each day I get up and feel stronger and happier, I will celebrate. Every day I get up and can give junior a real (or virtual) hug and tell him I love him, I will celebrate. When I clean the gutters, repair the fence or fix the pipe, I will celebrate.
Nurture my Spiritual side
I’ve always felt there is a greater power out there and in my youth I pursued it. But, with all the hurts and disappointments I’ve experienced in the past decade, I’ve felt slighted by the universal power.
It’s time I forgive and expand my container and let the universal power back in. I will come up with a ritual I can do every day to express my gratitude to the universe for everything wonderful I do have and let go all the hurt and anguish over things I’ve lost or not received.
That’s it. Between this list and my 50 – 50 list, I have will never lack for a dull moment.
Post Divorce Resources
Here are a couple of websites that helped me find my way and realise I wasn’t alone.