Jar of happiness

Happy Pills

With you gone, I’m alive,
Makes me feel like I took happy pills,

Nora Jones, Happy Pills  

Happy Pills?

Jar of happiness

Happy Pills

The events of last year caught up to me and I was having a hard time getting over it.

But I didn’t want to go on serious chemicals.  Been there, done that.  I resorted to St. John’s Wort which had helped in the past. Continue reading

Mind Soundtrack

The Soundtrack of My Life

The Soundtrack of a Year

Music has always been a huge part of my life. Some albums I loved so much and played so often that they became the background

Mind Soundtrack

Music in my head

soundtrack to my life. The songs would be playing in the back of my mind for whatever situation I was in, like a movie soundtrack.

I’ve often found that when a situation arouse, the music that needed to accompany that scenario showed up as well. Like the universe sending me musical karma to make it through. Continue reading

Maxim to Vikings

The Big C, Take 2 – Mental Help

Mental Help Required

Once the cancer was gone, how could I remove it from my mind?

Cancer as Business

The cancer agency is an all encompassing body which decides each step for a patient.  There’s usually a flurry of activity and then you wait until there’s a spot for you.  Apparently cancer is a huge business.  I was informed that the local cancer agency made about $200,000 off my treatment.   None of which went into patient well-being that I could see. All services that helped patients deal with the mental onslaught of cancer were provided by volunteers.

And onslaught it is.  There were times I felt bullied by the medical staff, made to feel afraid.  Afraid of making my own decisions about how may body was going to be treated.  Afraid of going against what the doctors recommended.  I was made to feel that if I went against the norm, I was doing so at my own peril.   Continue reading


The Big C, Take 2 – Prepping for Radiation

The next steps of my cancer treatments

Hurry up and wait, again.

Once the operation was over, I was foisted back onto the cancer waiting list.  This time it was for radiation treatments.

The Radiation Oncologist

When the cancer mill starting turning again for me, my first appointment was meeting the radiation oncologist, Dr. C.  She was going to determine how long and how much radiation my poor breast would receive.  I had read in the literature that additional treatments in the form of  supplements may also be required.  I had decided that I was not going to take any chemical substances, some of which had brutal side effects.  I was going to try a more natural approach.  I noted it on the forms I filled in for Dr. C. Continue reading

Pink Ribbon

The Big C, Take 2 – The First “C” Days

The Big C – My Round 2 with cancer

The First “C” Days

Cancer has entered my life, twice.  The second time with cancer was very traumatic.  I explored many avenues to heal myself,  both mentally and physically.  I wanted to make sure that my second round with cancer would be the final one.

My naturopath told me that my lung meridian was holding an enormous amount of sadness.  Unloading the sadness would elevate my body to the next healthier level.  He thought it could be related to my second go round with the big C, breast cancer.

So, with wasband now history, and myself moving into a more positive phase in life, it would be worth unloading some more baggage.  It is time to write about my big C, take 2. Continue reading

Pink Ribbon

The Big C – Take 2

The Big C – Second Time Around

Some things are not good the second time around.  Cancer is one of them.

April, on the Damp Coast, is cancer month.  So for the whole month of April there are events, fund raisers, people begging for money on behalf of all things related to cancer.  For me, it’s very irritating.  I understand the need for people to try to do something about a disease that makes people feel completely helpless.  But my experience is that it seems all the money collected doesn’t always make it down to the patient level.

I’ve had cancer twice.

Continue reading

Forget those

Where are your Friends when the going gets tough?

Where are your friends when ya need ’em?

I get by with a little help from my friends

Ringo Starr

Why is it that when a woman is going through a tough spot, people leave her alone?

Yet, when a man is going through a tough ordeal, people rally round him.  They bring him food, they offer to make him dinner, they clean his house.

The Evidence 

I’ve seen this first hand.

When a friend died, people tripped over themselves to help her husband.  I went over and cleaned his filthy house, made food, helped out with the kids.

Yet when a family friend lost her husband, no one went over to clean her house or made her food.  After a couple of weeks, people stopped calling.  Why? Continue reading


The Long Dark of Depression

Depression – Let’s Talk about it

Tomorrow, Bell is sponsoring “Let’s Talk”- an initiative designed to create discussions about mental health.  In recent years several celebrities have come forward to talk about their battles with depression and mental illness.

Unfortunately Robin Williams lost his battle with his dark depression demons.

The Dark

In the dark of winter on the damp coast, it’s easy to feel depressed.  The dark grey is all around you.   It’s dark in the morning when you get up and it’s dark in the afternoon when you go home from work.

Everyone has experience being depressed at some point in her life.  Most of the time you can pull out of it by going out into the sun or doing something you love to do.

But what if nothing helps?  What if you simply cannot bring yourself to do the things you love to do any more? Continue reading